Scars
by dracoizumi
Summary: Will anything good ever come from Johnny's scars? Not good with summeries, first Outsiders fanfic, PonyboyxJohnny slash. One shot! Please enjoy and R&R!


Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. Oh boy, if I did, that would be amazing. I mean I don't even own the book or movie yet, but ofcouse I have read and seen it so many times that I have half of it memorized. This is my first crack at The Outsiders, so please be nice with me. This is my second new trying this week, wow. Well I hope you like it, the pairing is one of my favourites of all times, Johnny/Ponyboy, and this is from mostly Johnny's point of view. Also a one-shot, might write more if I ever get around to it, who knows. Hope you like it! Please r&r!

**Scars**

Lightning cracked from the coloured grey sky as Johnny stepped outside of his house, tears streaming down his tanned face. It had been raining all week, and for some reason, it had made his time at home worse than it normally was. Today he had come back from Ponyboy's house and he had run into his obviously angry and drunk father. For some reason his dad seemed to be extremely angry at Johnny, and his bloodshot eyes pierced right through the dark haired boys body. He hated when his father beat him, but there was nothing he could do about it. A few minutes before he had come out into the rain again, he had entered his house and was thrown to the floor.

"Johnny why the fuck did you do it! Why!" his dad yelled. Johnny was confused and extremely frightened because he knew that he hadn't done anything. He had been with the other greasers all day and no where near his house. He wanted to ask what he did, but he knew if he did, it would just lead to a harder beating and more trouble for him. He saw a leg come at his body and kick him very hard in the stomach, causing him to double over. Then he saw a fist come and hit him in the face, then another, and another. He wanted to cry, and he wanted to run, but he couldn't until his dad had killed him or he passed out. His whole body was sore after a few moments, but then something else happened. His dad reached into Johnny's pocket and found his switchblade. He began mumbing about something again and opened it up, shoving it deeply into his son's leg, dragging it across. Johnny's eyes were in so much pain that he couldn't bare it, his face was flooded with his tears and he tried not to make any sound. His dad began mumbling something else and he fell backwards on to the floor, hititng his head against the table, knocking him unconcience. Johnny knew that this was he chance to escape. He pushed himself off the floor with his hands, usuing the wall to pull himself up, his leg in extreme pain. He finally stood up and began limping to his front door.

Outside was very cold, and he couldn't see anything through the pouring rain. He decided it would be best if he slept in the lot tonight, even though it would be completely wet and he would probably catch something. He wandered down the street and he noticed that the Curtis' front pourch light was on, he couldn't make out who was sitting out though. Johnny didn't want anyone to see him like this, he quickly began limping away, whipering with each move.

"Johnny?" a voice called in the distance. Johnny froze, he had been caught, he might as well give in, the pain was too much anyways. He turned around slowly and squinted his crying eyes until he heard the voice again. "Johnny is that you?"

"Ponyboy?" Johnny wimpered, trying to hold back his tears. He began limping over to the other boy, wanting to see his wet body.

"Johnny why are you out in the rain at this time? What's wrong?" Ponyboy hadn't seen the older boy's limp and he motioned for him to sit on the pourch with him.

"My dad, he was drunk when I got home, and mad at something I apperently did. Beat me up real bad, gashed my leg up too" he cried, wiping his face. "I hate when he's like that, I really just aughta' kill myself, plain and simple. I wouldn't be missed around here anyhow."

"Don't say things like that Johnny, you have us, we all care about you. You stay away from your dad, it doesn't matter about him, he shouldn't be the reason for your death." Ponyboy said, moving closer to Johnny.

"I'm going to really do it this time Ponyboy, I'm going to kill myself and get it over with. You don't all care about me, no one would notice if I were gone." the older boy began shaking from the cold rain and the blood loss in his leg.

"Stop talking like that Johnnycakes, I care about you, you know I do, I spend all my time hanging around with you. If you died who would I be able to do that with?" Ponyboy asked worridy.

"You are a popular guy, I bet you can find someone else that could be a better friend than me, I do nothing, I mean nothing, and soon I will be nothing." Johnny spoke in barely a whisper.

"You are something Johnny, and without you being by my side all of the damn time I don't know what I'd do. I wouldn't be Ponyboy Curtis, that's for sure." as the boy said this, Johnny felt himself blush, realizing that he did acutally care somewhat for him. "Stop talking about hurting yourself, it's not like you have the guts to do it anyways. Here, we should really get your leg fixed up before you loose too much more of your blood." Johnny nodded and let Ponyboy help him into the house.

"Thanks" he coughed. Johnny didn't know what to do. He knew he would never really be able to kill himself. Not because he was scared, it was because of someone who meant a lot to him, and he didn't want to leave them alone. He loved them, he thought they were everything in the world. That person was Ponyboy Curtis, his younger best friend. He had the great athletic ability, the cute looks, and so many other good qualities that Johnny knew he himself didn't have. He never concidered himself gay, he just didn't like anyone, until Ponyboy that is. Sure he cheaked out girls, but it was as if it was expected of him. Pony didn't seem to show any interest in boys, so he knew he had no chance. Then again, he didn't show any interest in girls either. As he sat and waited for Ponyboy to come back, all he could think about is kissing him, and telling him how he truely feels. He has wanted to do this for a long time, he just never had the guts to do it. If he was really going to kill himself he would tell him, and in his dreams, but he was too scared to do it in real life. He sighed and lay down, looking around at the darkened room. There was only a small table light on, keeping the place dim, probably not wanting to wake the two older Curtis' brothers. Ponyboy finally came back into the room with some medical suppplies.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, I had a bit of trouble remembering where Soda hid this damn thing." Ponyboy spoke in a whisper, walking over to wear the other boy was sitting. Ponyboy worked to help fix Johnny's leg in silence except for the occasional apoligies for causing the deep cut to sting.

"Are you done yet?" the dark haired boy asked anxiously. Ponyboy nodded. "Thanks Ponyboy, I don't know what kind of things would have made this worse."

"No problem, I'd do anything for you, you know that. So don't go talking about killing yourself anymore, if you need to talk or get away from your family you know I will always be here for you, you know that right?" the younger boy waited for a reply. Johnny just sighed. "I know it is hard sometimes but you are tough and you can get though it."

"Thanks, that means a lot to me..." Johnny said moving his leg back down onto the floor slowly. Ponyboy smiled and sat down beside him placing his arm around his neck, and then leaned over to hug him. Johnny quickly felt his face blush as he hugged the other boy back, hoping the other greaser wouldn't notice. They broke apart and it was quiet for a moment. "Why were you out in the rain tonight?" Johnny finally asked.

"Hmm?" Ponyboy responded, turning his head.

"I mean, why were you not asleep, it's pretty late, and you were just sitting alone in the rain. Why?" he asked curiously.

Ponyboy just shook his head. " Nothin' really. I was just thinking about some stuff. Friends, family, relationships."

"Relationships?" Johnny asked interested. He had never heard Ponyboy talking about relationships before. He wondered why he never brought it up before. "What about them?" He looked over and noticed that the boy had become unconfortable on the matter, not covering it up well, he couldn't help but smile.

"I've never been in one, that's all." he finally said quietly.

"You never said that you showed interest in anyone." he waited for a response, and when there was none he went to ask another question. "Do you like anyone? You know you could trust me Ponyboy." Ponyboy let out a breath as lighting cracked again, causing the only dim light in the living room to shut off instantly. Johnny's heart lept as he saw nothing but darkness and the outlight and slight shadow of Ponyboy.

"You okay? The lightning must have struck the power lines, so we don't make too much noise running into things, I guess it's best that we sleep right here." Ponyboy sighed. "I mean if that is alright with you, I could sleep on the floor if you want." he added quickly.

"No this is good." he said smiling, knowing that the other greaser couldn't see it. "So, do you like anyone?" Johnny asked again.

Ponyboy yawned before answering. "You could say I do, but I don't think I would be able to tell them. They would probably laugh at me."

Johnny laughed to himself and elbowed Ponyboy. "Come on, I don't think that anyone would laugh at you if you confessed to them. Any girl would go for you Pony, it's just who you like." he laughed again and then was quiet. Ponyboy didn't say anything. "Pony, what's wrong?"

"What if it wasn't a girl?" he said in barely a whisper. As Johnny's ears heard this, his heart almost jumped out of his body.

"What, what did you say Pony? Are you saying your-"

"Nevermind, I didn't say anything. They wouldn't understand thats all." he yawned again and rubbed his eyes." I'm really tierd, I haven't been up this late in a while." He scooted away from Johnny and curled up in a ball on the other side of the couch.

"Why don't you lie on me Pony, you might be more comfortable, and that way you can keep me warm aswell." he waited, and at first he didn't think Ponyboy was going to move, but finally he turned around, leaning against the older boy for support.

"Thanks Johnny.You are a really good friend."

"Anything Ponyboy, anything."Johnny closed his eyes for a moment and fell into a light sleep. A few moments later another crack of lightning awoke him. The younger boy who was leaning on him began to snuggle up against him and Johnny began to blush again. He had never really been this close to his crush. Only in his dreams were he was telling Ponyboy that he had feelings for him, and kissing him was when he was closer then that moment. He looked at the boy sleeping. He seemed so peaceful, like an angel.

"My angel." Johnny whispered, combing the boy's hair away from his eyes. He waited for a moment and watched as he rolled off of him and was laying beside him. He thought for a moment but he shook the thoughts out of his mind and tried to fall back asleep again. He couldn't seem to fall asleep though, his thoughts just kept coming back, telling him that he had to do it. He finally gave up on knocking the thoughts away and moved over slowly, until his hands were holding him up above his crush's well framed body. He began to move closer to him, lowering his head down until he could feel Ponyboy's breath on his neck, causing him to shiver. He placed his lips softly on Ponyboy's and he felt electricity run though him. He was kissing Ponyboy, he couldn't believe what he was doing. He quickly backed up once he felt the boy moving under him. He jumped up, his leg burned with pain, and his heart beating fast with fear and love.

"Johnny?" Ponyboy whispered half asleep. He rubbed his eyes and sat up.

"Shhh you should get some sleep, it's late." Johnny whispered to the boy softly.

"I can't, not when I know that you are sitting here in pain. You worry me when you like this."

"I'll be fine, just close your eyes."

"Only if you do too."

"Alright, I will." Johnny closed his eyes slowly and he lay down, allowing Ponyboy to use his stomach as a pillow."

"I know you will be able to sleep, since you were sleeping before Pony, I saw you.

"I wasn't asleep, I just had my eyes closed." The younger boy said slowly. Johnny opened his eyes and saw Ponyboy staring at him. His heart jumped so high, he thought it would come out of his body.

"Y-you weren't asleep?" Johnny asked slowly. Ponyboy shook his head and ran his hand down his friend's fave.

"I know what you did. You kissed me Johnny. You kissed me on my lips." Johnny became very frightened as he heard Ponyboy repeat what he had just done.

"I'm sorry, I didn't, I- I'm really sorry Ponyboy." Johnny tried to think of something to say, but it was pointless. He was never good with words.

"Don't be..." Ponyboy looked up and moved closer to Johnny. "Why did you do it then?"

"I- I want-" Johnny stuttered.

"I love you Johnny, I love you more than anything." Ponyboy whispered.

As Johnny heard his best friend say this he didn't know what to say or do. He just stared at his friend, in shock. Not moving an inch, not wanting to ruin this moment.

"Will you kiss me again? I mean, if you loveme back..."He asked moving his favce closer to the stunned boy.

Johnny moved forward and kissed his younger friend passionatly on the lips. He was so happy, he was so happy that his dad could stab him in the leg all over again, and he wouldn't shed a tear. His tounge ran over Ponyboy's lips and he soon felt his tounge touching his own.

"I love you so much Ponyboy." Johnny said, breaking the kiss. "I love you so much. You don't know how long I have been waiting to say that too you. I would have said it a long time ago if I knew I could've been kissing you if I did."

"I guess there is something good about today then, I mean you've been through so much..." the pale boy whispered.

"I'd go through it all over it again if I could be with you forever."

"I hope you don't have to. The scars you have should be enough to bewith me forever, you don't deserve more.

"If I didn't have any, I don't think we'd be here right now." the older boy smiled.

"Well, I don't think you should be happy for what you went through."

"I'm not happy for what happend to me, but if I ever think back to it, I'll remember how we ended up making out on your couch. I'm sure that should overpower the bad things." Johnny whispered, pushing back his lover's hair.

Ponyboy smiled, and then gave a confused look. "Wait, we never made out on my couch."

Johnny laughed, moving closer to Ponyboy once again. "I think we can change that."

End.

A/N: Well, er, um.. First things first, this was so much better originally, but I kind of lost the original and had to do it from memory. I also don't have such a good memory. So sorry for it not being that good. I plan to revamp this as soon as I redo the others. Which means I'll have some better ideas for the lines than I do at the moment. I think it's alright though. Well for my first Outsiders fanfiction. I mean my first Digimon one wasn't so good, and my first Harry Potter,it still needs a lot of work... Well please r&r. Hope I didn't disapoint anyone to much!-Izumi


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